One of my patients was a young boy who had heart problems. He was not long for this world, but I spent time dancing with him. I think what we provided this boy was a sense of stability, a sense of support, and some palliative care. What I’ve had to learn with MSF is that sometimes you can dig as deep as you can and find out as much as you can, clinically speaking, only to learn that all you can do is hang out and provide a moment of fun for your patient.
If grace is an ocean then we're all sinking.
Yuki A. Music: Faithful
my roommate :) encourages me daily and…just had to reblog this post
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Just about to leave for a retreat with my church family aka bunch of crazy college kids. I’m going to be leading worship for the retreat, and even though I’ve lead for retreats before, it feels like I’m going into another unknown for me because I know the people so well-whereas the other retreats…
Better together
This is the best picture I could find to capture what’s been on my mind.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘the look.’ (Don’t worry, this post won’t be sappy for long).
‘The Look’: n. the gaze you catch a certain someone giving you that either makes you either 1. feel admired with the whole butterfly-in-stomach effect 2. run away immediately and book it if possible.
Girls know when they are given ‘the look.’ They know when they are being hunted (for the most part). Girls who are bold, experienced, confident, or mutually interested typically savour it as a compliment; perhaps even returning ‘the look’ to begin an unspoken conversation with the soon-to-be significant other. On the other hand, girls who don’t fit into the first category typically look away and book it. I have always been the latter.
I can’t pinpoint what makes ‘the look’ so intimidating. Maybe it’s the fact that you suddenly feel like your every move is being scrutinized. Or maybe it’s the fact that you suddenly feel the need to act in a way that is worthy to be admired. Or maybe it’s the fact that you know he can really see inside you if he looked long enough, looked hard enough. The walls will start to fall and everything will come tumbling. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Whatever the reason, I always tried to shy away…
But on NYE, as I was praying into the new year and asking to be brought into a new place of unexplored intimacy with Him, I suddenly felt His blazing eyes on me. Every ounce of His attention was directed at me and this time, I couldn’t shy away. I didn’t want to. For some reason, it was okay that He was watching my every move and it was okay that the walls came tumbling because I knew His desire was to simply love me. Self-proclaimed worthy or not. I could not take His eyes off of me.
In all my years as a Christian, I honestly don’t think I know how to just be in His presence— just to be with Him. Doing ministry? Sure. Prayer meetings? Sure. Just being with Jesus? That’s a tough one. But in the end, isn’t that… everything?
His gaze is on you.
Sometimes, things happen so fast.
Sometimes, things change so quickly.
Sometimes, things truly start to scare you.
Sometimes, things scare you because they just seem too good. Amazing-surreal. Like they’ll float away any second, and you just want to pull back before it happens & you’re left, empty-handed.
But sometimes, things just need to happen.
(via kellylinx3)
I wonder if he gets sporadic hand cramps. This is pretty dope-tastic!
Hero (by Miguel Endara)
Very nice :) Something to try someday?
(via sarahljay)
(via awelltraveledwoman)
(Source: codeplay, via butterflyblog)
As the garnish or as the spice
I haven’t written a post in awhile— at least not one substantial, but several topics have been on my mind these past two weeks. After talking to a friend last night, I thought I would share some food for thought.
On garnish and spice. Not going to lie, I find myself using Him as my garnish more than my spice these days. I’ll have those moments where I long for Him but end up being satisfied with just a moment of His presence, just a whisper of a word, or just a glimpse of grace. In cooking, garnish is good for purposes of presentation and adds the needed twist to top off a dish but spice… spice makes up the essence of the dish.
On generosity. The last time I went home, my brother was commenting about how he was saving up money. I asked him what he was saving up for and he replied saying that he wanted to take me out for a fancy meal on my birthday. I felt so loved… not because he was planning to treat me to something fancy, but because in his meager finances, he thought of me. The widow’s two mites. It’s funny because the older I get, the more I start to see how you can never gauge generosity based on the value of the gift given. There is always a larger context and because of it, I often find myself admiring those with little who live humbly to give much. I already caught myself twice in the past two weeks where I did a double take before I gave (time or money). I want to be like the widow.
On Uzzah. 1 Chronicles 13. Listened to a message recently on why good intentions are not good enough and it has kept me on my toes. True, He does honor intentions… but He values obedience. The belief that good intentions are sufficient cheapens grace, which cheapens the Blood.
On mercy. While having pillow talk with my apartment-mate last night, I came to the realization that by the end of our lifetime, we will have so many mercies accumulated that we will probably only remember less than 1x10^(-10000)% of them. I love that the Word explicitly says we receive new mercies every morning and that we don’t have to live off the old.
